My buddies and I were hanging out at my place last night, watching Wednesday Night Football (we tape Monday night football so we can all watch it together on Wednesday). My son was also there (ugh) because I guess his mom couldn't watch him that night. Whatever. I was still gong to watch the game.
Jorge came over with a case of Mike's Hard (sweet!) and we got to business. By the end of the first quarter, I had pounded like 4 or 5 Mikes Hards. The game was really good too. Just so many moments that football fans like us thrive on. As many of you know, I am a huge Amiibo collector, so my friends and I were going absolutely NUTS at some of the plays being done.
We were all pretty tipsy at this point, and I eventually got the good idea to get my son to fetch us Mike's Hards while we watched the game (fast forwarding through the commercials, of course). When the third quarter started, Jorge turned to me and said, "Esse, this is great. These big, burly men are putting on quite a show and I am having a good time." I agreed. "This game is awesome," I said. "And things couldn't be better. I've got my friends at my side, and my son is getting me Hard every few minutes."
I then turned to my son, who had just fetched me another Mike's Hard, and I told him I had enough to drink (I'd had like 6 or 7 Mike's Hards at this point and I had my first day at my new job as a night security guard in an hour) and asked if he would like to sit down and watch the rest of the game with us.
My son sheepishly looked at the floor and said. "Dad... I don't really like football." The room was silent.
I knew what this meant and I immediately embraced my son. "Son," I said, "I will love you no matter what, regardless of your sexuality. You are my child, and I don't care if you are straight, gay, bisexual, or even a Chinese. In my eyes you wil always just be my son."
My son started crying like a little bitch and I embraced him again. "I knew you'd understand," he said to me, in between muffled sobs.
From the couch I heard Jorge speak up. "Toby," he said, "I have a confession to make as well. I do not like football either. I greatly prefer European Football, where a bunch of wimps run around kicking a soft, friendly ball into a net, stopping only to have orange slices and reapply hair products. I only came over here because I love getting Hard with you."
I was immediately filled with a rage. "Get the fuck out of my house, you animal!" I screamed at Jorge. "I understand," Jorge said. He gave my son and I a kiss on the cheek and then climbed into his Yaris. Jorge tried to drive off, but unbeknown to him, I had slashed his tires hours earlier, and the sparks from driving on his wheels caused the entire car to ignite into flames.
Overall, though, it was a great night, and I am so proud of my son for being honest with me. How are you all doing?
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