Friday, November 20, 2015

Wow, I guess violent video games DO make people more aggressive.

Allow me to explain. Last night, I received a text from my girlfriend telling me that she was "craving the BBC." I thought this was odd because she normally does not watch much TV, and is not really into British television.

She told me that she had sent me the wrong text message, and that she really meant that she missed me, so I hopped in my car and headed on down to her place (even though she was being nice and said not to come over, that I should get rest for work tomorrow, etc).

When I got there, she was wearing a towel and I immediately noticed something was off. The sheets in my girlfriend's room were a mess and her clothes were all over the floor (she is normally very neat). I thought nothing of it though, said Konichiwa, and we sat down on the couch to watch some BBC shows. 

Now as many of you know, I am a huge Amiibo collector, so as we sat down and watched TV, I knew something was wrong. I turned around and looked at the closet, which I noticed as ajar. I thought that was odd.

"Tracy Tran," I told my girlfriend, "I am going to use the basurumu (bathroom for you gaijin). Arigato. I will be back after the toilet bowl gods have had their fill of my brown loaf." 

I walked towards the bathroom, and as I went there, I noticed that among my girlfriend's clothes were some articles clothing that were neither mine nor hers - a pair of baggy jeans, a Supreme hoodie, a pair of Jordans, and a NY yankees fitted cap. I saw the closet door move slightly and knew something was up.

I ran to the closet door (as my girlfriend started screaming), threw open the door, and in the closet was a large fully nude white man. 

I immediately went into a rage, and utilized techniques from the hours of vidya that I play daily to subdue the man (blitzball to the dome). As I was prepared to execute the man (as is tradition in Japan), my girlfriend begged me to stop and explained what happened.

"I lied to you earlier when I said that craving the BBC meant British television," she said. "What I really meant was Bodacious Belgian Chocolate. This man's name is Thomas Janssens and he is a chocolatier from Belgium that was going to prepare a chocolate fondue feast for us to eat on our anniversary. He informed me that he needed to get fully nude to prepare this feast, as he did not want to ruin his $3k worth of Hypebeast clothing."

"However," Tracy continued, "as you have ruined the surprise and the chocolate, for our anniversary I will instead get to have another sexual encounter with a craigslist man of my choosing."

I bowed to both Thomas and Tracy and told them that I understood, and immediately left, as I just realized I had forgotten to pick up my son from school that afternoon.

Anyway, my question for you CE is, do you think violent video games make people more aggressive? I know in my case that they do.

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