Wow, my son and I had the most incredible experience this morning.

I had my son this morning due to a teacher's convention, and as a result, I had to cart his ass around all morning while I did my errands.

My son and I were walking to Taco Bell to get me a free crunchwrap (I told him he can't eat them because they're bad for growing boys, lol). He was trying to tell me about some problem he was having at school with some bullies or some kind of shit, but I had my headphones turned up pretty loud so thankfully Iron Maiden was able to drown out his whining as we made our way to the restaurant.

Along the way, we saw this really dirty, sorry looking homeless man sitting on the side of the road. He had torn clothing on, a big grey beard, and in his hands were a cardboard sign ("Please help - hungry and homeless") and a dented coffee cup with a few coins in it.

As many of you know, I am a huge Amiibo collector, so I told my son not to make eye contact with the man, and we picked up our pace so we could get to Taco Bell for our (well, my) free crunchwrap.

As we were walking by, we heard a liberal say "hey look, a homeless man! Let's give him some handouts! He'll love those!" I turned around and saw this liberal reaching into his vegan, cruelty-free pleather wallet, where he unfolded some crisp $100 bills and began to hand them to the homeless man.

"What the fuck is this liberal nutcase doing?" I said to my son. "Somebody needs to stop him before he ruins this homeless man's life."

That was when my son did something that amazed everyone.

He walked over to the liberal and put his hands on the liberal's shoulder. "Stop," my son stated calmly. "Hold onto your handouts and I will give this man something worth more than all the money in the world."

My son produced a small crucifix from his pocket and handed it to the homeless man. The homeless man's eyes swelled up with tears. "Thank you," he said, crying like a little bitch. "Christ's ultimate sacrifice on the cross has taught me to value hard work and traditional family values above all."

Just as the homeless man was holding up his new cruficix, a man walked by, saw the commotion, and stopped. He approached the homeless man, and I realized this was none other than comedy legend Chris Tucker.

"Hello sir," Chris Tucker said to our new homeless friend. "I noticed your Christian faith as I was walking on my way to get a free crunchwrap from Taco Bell. You may be aware that, in addition to my acting career, I also have a career as an operator of various Chick Fil A franchises in this location. I am looking for a man of good moral character and faith to operate our deep fryers. I would like to offer you the chance of a lifetime, to work at my restaurant and collect roughly $7/hr."

The homeless man accepted the offer and went home to put on his best rags. Chris Tucker then turned to my son. "Young man, what you have done today was incredible. I would like to offer you a job at Chick Fil A as well, being the manager of this homeless man. I will also write your dad a check for $100."

I patted my son on his back. I was so proud. "Now," Chris Tucker said, "what does a black man have to do around here to get a free crunchwrap?"

We all laughed, and together, my son, Chris Tucker, and I went to Taco Bell and enjoyed our crunchwraps together (my son didn't get one though). What a day!