I remember when I first introduced drunkmuggle to my grandfather.
"Careful," I said quietly to muggle. "My grandfather is very old. Please honor him, and be gentle with this old fella's brittle bones."
Drunkmuggle approached my grandfather and extended his hand. "How do you do, old eye-talian," he said to my grandfather (who we call Peep Pop). I held my breath, hoping that introducing my Peep Pop to drunkmuggle would not be a mistake. Peep Pop extended his bony, quivering hand to meet drunkmuggle's, but all of a sudden I noticed a mischievous look in drunkmuggle's eyes.
"Don't do it, Peep Pop!" I howled, but it was too late. Drunkmuggle grabbed his hand and crushed it, breaking every one of Peep Pop's decrepit fingers. "Ya snooze ya lose, old man!" Drunkmuggle exclaimed, giddy with power.
He ran over to my Peep Pop's bookcase, where he began wildly looking through his books. He eventually found my Peep Pop's baseball card collection in its trading card book and took it off the shelf.
"Let's see," drunkmuggle mused, as he flipped through the pages. He stopped when he saw Peep Pop's prized possession, a rare Hank Aaron baseball card. "Who is this dusty old geezer?" drunkmuggle said, as he tore the card in half.
At this point, I was paralyzed with fear and disbelief, and my Peep Pop was in the deepest pain I had ever seen. He began to smash his left hand to match his broken right hand, and was screaming out "Hank, my boy," in memorial of his ruined card.
"Muggle, that's enough," I said, fighting back tears. "This dirty old man has learned his lesson to exist in the same room as you. Please spare him." Drunkmuggle looked back at me with a delirious smile.
"I'm not done yet."
He ran over to my grandfather's candy dish and pulled out all the Werther's Originals and cough drops and other things that old people consider candy and shoved them in Peep Pop's mouth. He then grabbed my Peep Pop's Congressional Medal of Freedom (which was awarded to him for killing the most civilians in the Vietnam War) and beamed it at Peep Pop's head, sending my Peep Pop to the Shadow Realm.
Drunkmuggle then left, making me have to take care of my own Peep Pop's funeral pyre and forge my name into his will all by myself.
tl;dr - drunkmuggle does not resepct elders
Scenario:
It is 2017. President Hillary Rodham Clinton, in her first act in office, has instituted a law enacting a nation-wide ban on White Men, in order to reclaim more land for the PoC and Non-Cis Americans. White Men, displaced from their homes, have turned towards the underground, where they now live in a vast system of subterranean tunnels, forced to siphon power from the various HRC Pleasure Domes enacted over every major city in the US.
For sustenance, the White Men survive off of algae and rats that are native to their new sewer home. For other supplies, the White Men must make monthly trips to the surface, where they routinely will perform high-risk raids on the various HRC Storehouses. These trips are very dangerous, and getting caught can have dire consequences for the White Men; captured White Men are sent over to Overlord Dunham for processing, followed by a swift execution performed by President Hillary Rodham Clinton herself.
You are a White Man on one of these surface raids. Your goal is to scout out the location of a Storehouse in the Atlanta area, as records (provided by Alt-Right Resistance Force) indicate that the Atlanta HRC Storehouse contains a cure for a certain strain of mold growing in the subterranean tunnels.
However, while on the bus traveling to Atlanta, you notice a young, visibly pregnant Muslim Womyn getting onto the bus. You also notice that her dress contains the insignia of ISIS - after President Hillary Rodham Clinton's inauguration, Clinton revealed herself as an agent of ISIS, allowing in all 650 million ISIS refugees (as fortold by the Prophet Trump).
The other seats on the bus are taken, and you can tell this young woman is visibly uncomfortable. Would you give up your seat for this pregnant womyn, even though she has aligned herself with one of the deadliest terrorist groups in the world?
Manspreading has been outlawed by President Hillary Rodham Clinton within her first week in office. All newly born White Men, before being cast down into the tunnel system they now call home, have their hip joints surgically altered in order to allow White Men to only open their legs to about a 45 degree angle.
This operation greatly reduces the mobility of White Men, leading many White Men to forgo a risky operation once they reach the underground: have their legs removed altogether and replaced with enhanced prosthesis legs that enable them to run and jump at 5x the normal rate of an unaltered White Man. This ability is one that will greatly come in handy during raids on the HRC Storehouses.
