oh man, i'm so excited for this.
last night I was playing some Gears of War 4 and I kept losing matches. I'm a beast with the sniper and my shotgun skills are unmatched, so I was scratching my head trying to figure out what was wrong with my play.
I did some Googling and I found the cause: there just wasn't enough RAM. With only 8GB of RAM, good luck unlocking your full potential as a gamer. To me, 8GB of RAM is basically the equivalent of wearing a ball and chain around your ankle; how are you going to dodge and roll and blast your shotgun when you have 100lbs of iron wrapped around your leg?
Thankfully, I called up my boy Freddy, who is a technological genius. "Freddy," I said. "My game is slipping. My rank isn't what it used to be. You gotta help me out."
"I've got just the thing," Freddy said. He came over right away with a funny looking metal box. "This box contains 1GB of RAM. I bought this off the black market in Bolivia. Plug this right into your Xbox and let's just say you'll start to see some sparks flyin'."
I plugged in the extra RAM and immediately I began dominating. With all that extra memory, I no longer had to remember anything, and pretty soon my brain was operating at 100% efficiency. I climbed the ranks fast - bronze, silver, gold, platinum, goldinum. There was no stopping my gameplay now.
"Freddy," I said. "Can RAM be used for anything else?" He nodded and showed me a custom made RAM helmet he had, specifically tailored to my cranium. I popped the headgear on and pretty soon I was playing at a level that no gamer had ever been at before. I was sniping enemies not only before they could snipe me, but before they had even reached the cover, since my brain was thinking so quickly.
I had to take the helmet off, though, since Freddy said my scans were getting red-hot. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited for the Scorpio.
